10 Advices for a new terror leader
I’ve found a nice text on an israeli blog. Here it is translated (with the autor’s permission).
10 Advices for a new [tag]terror[/tag] leader
In your speeches, you can give yourself creative freedom. The zionist enemy will believe everithing, even if you’ll tell him you divided Tel-Aviv into squares and youre going to give an hour notice before you start destroying every cantimeter of it. If you don’t have any ideas you can always use th known trick of promising “surprises”. It makes a hell of an impression. Just don’t over use it. They might make a joke out of you.
You want to bomb the haifa refineries, but you keep missing them? You should have practised since the 3rd grade, on muhamad’s birthday, when you couldn’t put the donkey’s tale on. But don’t worry, you can tell the zionist press (in the videotape, don’t forget) the you pittied the israelis and missed on purpose, but you won’t hessitate hitting them the next time thay bomb [tag]Beirut[/tag]. That way you’ll have an excuse as well as a threat.
When your ammo is out, and you have to stop bombing your zionist enemy, just say you’re planning your moves carefully. Say that you’re moving slowly with a clear plan, unlike the impatient zionist enemy who bombs all the time.
You’ve sent your daily missiles attack, but OH, instead of hitting Danny and Danna you’ve killed Ahmad and Masooda.
NO PANIC! every mistake has a good lie. Bribe the casualties familys with a “Shahid” title. That will blind them and make them forget the little mistake you made and blame the zionist enemy of everything. They hate them anyway.The europeans, if you didn’t know, are a bunch of cowards who want to shelter their own asses, so they’ll always side with you, even if you’ll throw an atom bomb on a non european country. But if it happens and the public opinion is pro israeli, you can use this old trick: Collect lebanese civilians, especially women ans children, and place them in an unstable building. If they refuse, tell them it’s a new reality show, and that the last survivor gets a vacation in northen Lebanon. The israelis will bomb the building. At some point they’ll relize what they’ve done, but it’ll be too late. The europeans will adore you.
A picture is worth thousand words. That’s why it’s time to take a peperachi class. The israelis bombed? Send your men to the place to picture the corpses and the wounded. The medical treatment can wait. If the pictures aren’t extremely shocking, you can wait for the wounded situation to escalate and then take a picture. If you don’t have a camera, you can always use the good old pictures from kosobo days or chechnia. Just don’t take pictures from vietnam – they might notice the difference. If you don’t have internet and you can’t download pictures, it’s time to use those lebanese-view pictures youre friends gave you at your house warming party. Those pictures you never liked but hanged in the living room in order no to insult your friends. Now you can destroy it with photoshop and add fire and smoke.
Good luck, dear terror leader!
If you’ll follow our instructions, you’ll reach the high stand as ben-laden’s friend. But if you’ll neglect, you might end up like sadam and you don’t want to get up every morning and instead of choosing where will the next missile hit, having to choose between being shot ao hanged.
[tags]war, israel, lebanon, hezbollah[/tags]
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